This Dude In Reading Has A Very Important Message For The Guy Who's Fucking His Wife: Stop Drinking His Beer
To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit (god knows I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?
5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
mentally challenged.
7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.
8.When she asks “do these pants make me look fat”, say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.
10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.
Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.
P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.
Thanks This was not written by anyone named Jack S.
All things considered, pretty great message if you’re the guy fucking this dude’s wife, right? I’ve never been part of an affair but I assume that the biggest fear involved with that is the husband finding out one day, storming into your place of business, and putting a bullet in your head? Not with this guy. He’s totally cool with all of it, just stop drinking his beers and eating his birthday brownies and wiping your cummy dick off on his sweatshirts and fucking with his ass imprint in his recliner. That’s as reasonable as reasonable as it gets.
On the flip side, I feel like this might be an all-time genius move to get the cheater to stop fucking your wife? This poster might be playing chess while the rest of the world plays checkers. Because one of the main draws of an affair is the naughtiness of it, or so I’ve heard. The sneaking around, the being bad, the feeling dirty… that’s what makes it all so hot. If you know the husband doesn’t care then what’s the point of sleeping with this chick? She’s probably thinking the same. It’s like trying to pick on someone and they don’t fight back and genuinely don’t give a fuck, it takes all the fun out of it. You need the threat of a fight to really get your dick hard.
So I duff my cap to this gentleman. Either he’s the most laid back dude going who’s actually happy that he doesn’t have to fuck and hang out with his wife very often, or he’s an anti-affair mastermind who knows how to stop bullshit like this in its tracks. Either way I say he comes out on top with this.
h/t Brad